Two words to eliminate from our vocabularies

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not the thunder.”

- Rumi

The words are meant to help us converse with the others, not to put us in trouble. There can, however, be words that seem harmless but can cause us a lot of trouble specially when used in some settings. So, why take a risk, when we can replace these words with milder and better words? Oh yes, you heard that right! We can afford to totally eliminate these words from our respective vocabularies.

‘Never’

The word may seem harmless, when used in some cases. But when used in some other cases, it may elicit anger, resentment and defensiveness in the other person.

So, by making the statements such as “You never help me”, “You never submit the report on time”, “You never try hard enough to perform well”, “You never praise my work”, we are unknowingly generalizing a person’s entire life. So, as soon as we put this word ‘Never’ in front of such a sentence, the person will neither pay attention to what else you have said and what you meant by saying this. This is because you have upset them by losing your hopes on them, completely.

‘Always’

Equally harmless a word, as it may seem, equally poisonous in some cases it can prove to be, on the other hand. The consequences of using ‘always’ in these cases are the same as ‘never’ in the examples already mentioned.

So, by using the statements such as “You always keep your room dirty”, “You always get angry with me”, “You always appear shabby at your work-place”, we can never inspire a constructive change in a person’s behavior.

In fact, these two words; Never & Always, when used inappropriately, can cause a lot more harm to us than we may imagine. So, the choice is ours! We can either learn to use these the right way (for example, in statements such as “You always wear a smile on your face” or “You never fight with me”) or not use at all!

How to make the most of the Law of Attraction

If we were to go by the universal law of attraction, every event, positive or negative happening in our lives is solely attracted by us. There is no such thing as chance occurrence and we quite literally build our own destiny For example, if you get late to work more often than not, you have attracted this event by thinking too hard about getting late. Or, say you had a hard day at work with your boss or your colleagues, you attracted that too, with or without your awareness of the law. The fact is that we’re using the law of attraction, every second of our lives, knowingly or unknowingly.

So, I’d like to share how we can make the most out of this seemingly simple law to attract things we really want to come in our lives. The basic three steps, it requires us to follow are: ‘Ask’, ‘Believe’ and ‘Receive’. Broadly, we can say that here’s the action plan to get started with building your own future – your way:

Meditate: You can start with relaxing the mind with a 5-10 minutes long meditation. It not only helps the mind relax but it also helps enhance the brain power. Meditating is optional but the recommended first step.
Be sure what you wish for: Focus on what you want and be sure about it. Once decided, do not change your mind. The universe you are sending the request to, is made up of thoughts and the language that works with it is that of thoughts. This is precisely why you ought to be sure of what you want. In case it receives an unclear message on what you want, you run the risk of getting unwanted results.
Request to the Universe: Make your request to the universe and ask for what you want. Picture this thing as already yours. Visualize how it will look, when you’ll have it. Have a detailed vision of the thing – the more detailed it is, the better.
Write down your wish: Write your wish down and express your feelings on paper as though you already possess the thing you want. You can write stuff such as “I am so happy now that I have………. In my life” completing the sentence by telling the Universe about what it is that you want. Picture yourself with the thing you want and write how you feel. You should exercise this daily until your wish comes true and any negations need to be avoided.
Feel it all through: Feel it all the while as though you are receiving now, what you desire for. Behave, think and speak just as though you have the thing with you now. This is a very important step, where the law of attraction starts to work. This is the point where sometimes you start feeling that you don’t want it anymore, since you already have it. That’s exactly when the universe manifests this feeling and you get it.
Display a sense of gratitude: Start by writing about the things universe has already gifted you with and show a sense of gratitude. Be thankful for whatever you already have and what universe has already given you. Simply paying universe back with some gratitude for the so many things it has done for us, inspires a lot more of good it can do for us. Showing gratitude really boosts the Universe to manifest your request faster.
Have faith in the universe: Think of a perfect alternate dimension of the universe which is identical to the real world but where whatever you truly wish for, comes true instantly. On the other hand, if you start looking for what you desire, it tells the universe that you don’t have it and you will attract “not having it”. This is where usually we all mess up. So, have patience and do not get upset if things don’t start rolling immediately. Have faith in the universe and let it do it for you. If you take up the job of worrying about ‘how’ in your hands, this conveys the message to the Universe that you don’t have faith in it. The Universe on the other hand, has far greater knowledge and power than you can even imagine!

Reasons, why you should smile more often

Make it a habit to smile and soon, happiness will be your habit too. If we look at it, it is really easy for us to smile. However, we are such misers of even smiling that we still keep on looking for reasons to smile. If there is one thing we must learn from children then it is to smile without a big reason. Having said that, here are some of the biggest benefits of smiling more often:

1) It makes you look more attractive

It is a proven fact that we find people more attractive when they smile. So, if you wish to give yourself an instant face-lift, nothing is better and cheaper than wearing a pleasant smile.

2) Smile and the others will smile too!

Believe it or not but simple things such as a smile can change the world! Smiling is contagious. You must have experienced it for yourself that when you’re in a really bad mood and you witness the innocent smile of a baby or if your friends burst into laughter, you forget about all your miseries, fear, insecurity, hurt and anxieties. So, smile often to make a difference to many lives together.

3) Grow old gracefully

You cannot avoid wrinkles that your face gets with age. Wrinkles are the permanent marks of your emotions expressed through your facial expressions. By no means, will a smile on your face mean that you won’t get any wrinkles. But if you can choose what kind of emotion you want, to leave marks on your face, why not it be, those of happiness? So, smile often and age gracefully.

4) Foster stronger relationships

A smile is not only the starting point of turning a stranger into a friend but it is also the key factor of fostering healthy friendships. When someone smiles at you, it develops a positivity between you two. While talking to someone, when you smile, it usually encourages them to talk more and take your conversation to the next level. Smiles are also important for having lasting first impressions.

6) Grow professionally

The first and foremost thing the people into sales, client servicing and hospitality domains should learn to do is to smile as much as they can. A smile can make a lot of difference to the success of your business deals. Everyone prefers to buy from the sales representatives who welcome them with a pleasant smile. A smile creates a positive aura around you attracting your customers and with a smile, you can easily instil positive feelings about your product in the buyers too.

‘Thank you’ – the two most important words

A vast majority of people go to work every morning with the aim to perform well at their jobs. Also, most of the people, and in turn, most of the organizations do quite well. What do they get in return? Or should we say, what do they want in return? More than money or anything else, everyone in this world wants recognition and praise. What is wrong with acknowledging and praising a job done well? There is no harm in saying these two important words of ‘Thank You’ often and your feelings resonate when you actually mean it too. Not just within an organization but these simple feelings of gratitude can also be shared with people we get associated with, outside our organizations, be it our clients, vendors, partners or associates.

Here are a few tips I follow and these can make it easy for you too, to convey your feelings of gratitude:

Personally, I prefer to keep some time aside in each week to acknowledge and praise people’s good work.
It is a great idea to handwrite thank-you notes, whenever possible. This adds a personal touch to this noble act in this age of digitization.
I go by the rule of ‘Punish in private and praise in public’.
At the time of praising people, do not forget to cc their supervisors.

When leaders regularly praise, they foster a culture of gratitude in their organization. It can work wonders for achieving consistently good performance.

The true leaders lead ‘by example’

“Lead by example”, is what almost every new manager is often told. We can not agree more with these words of wisdom. Let’s try to understand what it precisely means and how every leader and manager can implement it at the workplace:

We all aspire to be the leaders who are trusted, respected and admired. The true leaders, on the other hand, are not given respect but they earn it. They are not trusted per se, they earn the trust of the people they lead.

The best way to earn trust and respect and to earn the right to lead people is to lead by example. For example I can start to trust you and follow you only when I’m sure that you strongly believe in what you say. This happens only when your actions unfailingly support your words.

Here’s how one can lead by example.

Get things done in your workplace

A true leader doesn’t just state that “execution is important”, they rather demonstrate that “execution is important. The successful leaders actually roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty, they do not just ensure that work is done.

In the process, their experience leads them to the better ways of performing the work. Even though as a leader you might have administrative duties to perform and the big picture strategies might await your approval, never forget the basics “the tasks require execution and the spirit of getting things done.”

Be a part of the company’s culture

The culture of an organization is or at least it should be simply an extension of its leadership. The leadership should belong to the culture and not be over and above the company culture.

So suppose if your organization has an open door policy, the same should be applicable to the leaders. Unless a leader is not a living example of the company’s culture, all the values, vision and mission statements of the company lose their significance.

Learn to share the credit and take the blame

At all the levels, with great power and authority, comes great responsibility. So, if you want your team members to have a sense of accountability, you need to take the ownership of your tasks as well as your team’s tasks first.

Take blames for what you deserve as well as for what you don’t deserve. The only reason is your understanding that you can handle it but your team perhaps can not. Be it a client complaint about poor service, facing the anguish of a customer or facing the criticism from another department for the team’s effort, the true leaders always throw themselves under the bus rather than throwing the others.

On the other hand, make it a habit to share the credit with your team, when things go exceptionally well. It is very trust-breaking, when a leader takes the full credit for something that was actually a shared effort.

By developing the habit of taking blame on yourself and sharing the credit among your team, you build a trust among your team. With your example, they also learn to take the responsibility of their mistakes and share recognition with other team members. This creates an environment of sportsmanship and healthy teamwork.