We may not realize this instantly but it’s a fact that “Expectations are nothing but resentments waiting to happen”. In fact, the very reason why some relationships do not work are the unfulfilled expectations we hold from people. Our expectations are undermining acceptance. So, if we can replace these expectations with acceptance and forgiveness, no relationship, personal or professional, can ever go bad.
We generally argue that we can’t do without expectations because expectations are somewhere rooted in our needs, which can just not be eliminated. Agreed, expectations do reflect our needs. For example, I need my family’s support and expect it from them and when the expectation is not fulfilled, the underlying meaning is nothing else but my need for support is not met. There is a crucial difference however, between the need and expectations. We tie our expectations to people who matter to us, whereas there can also be other ways to fulfil our needs. When our near ones cannot live up to our expectations, it causes anger and resentment in us. The best way to deal with this situation is to get over this feeling and constructively look for ways to satisfy our needs. Though it would feel nice, if our near ones could fulfil our expectations but when they cannot, we should also be considerate enough to understand their limitations and hold acceptance and forgiveness for them. Carrying this kind of an attitude can really save our relationships and it enables us to lead a peaceful and trauma-free life.
So in place of accusing and blaming our close ones of being different from what we had expected, we should accept reality. We should accept that life happens. Things change and they are usually different from what we would expect. As long as we have expectations, we would put the onus on other people, our surroundings, circumstances, our future or all of these. This would mean we deny to live in the present and accept reality. So, better instead, let us accept things and people just as they are. Letting go of our expectations and accepting everything ‘As Is’, brings us the peace of mind, we always look for.